Chapter 18, Part One

No Honor; Chapter 18, Part 1: Conflicted

I left the grocery, with Jonas's words ringin' in my ears. Roy needed a whole year, ta be outta health trouble. That was a big deal, and maybe Carter was goin' way too far... Why was we rushin', ta collar this man? Why was I?

I returned to tha hotel, and got inta bed. For the life o' me though, I just couldn't find rest, not for hours. I thought on the whole ordeal: on the horror that Roy had done, on how I met Carter, and how I got involved, the whole business. When the time came ta join 'em, I just followed the pack... I didn't question a thang, and maybe I should've.

I still thought what happened needed ta be answered, and that Roy had ta account for what 'e did, but I just didn't know if the cost was worth it. I didn't know if it was best ta just leave it be. Most of all, I didn't know why I was fightin' the fight. There was no need ta get myself involved.

What I wanted was ta run my bar, and make my livin', and that was it. I wanted Roy to be caught, sure, but I wanted things ta end. I wanted some sorta peace.

In the later hours of the night, past three a.m., I kept wrestlin' with tha questions, and I didn't have any answers. It's a wonder that I got ta sleep at all, but I did it. When the mornin' came, and I was due to help Norm and them, at the grocery, I just didn't do it.

Maybe the right thing was ta leave it alone. Maybe what was best, was ta walk away...

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